“You didn’t have to trouble yourself”

“Don’t worry I’m ok”

“I can handle it on my own”

“I didn’t want to trouble you?

“You’ve done enough”

“Niko poa, worry not”

“It’s nothing out of space”

“You didn’t have to go through that for me”

“Am cool without it, it ain’t a necessity, but thank you”

“This is nothing compared to what’s on your plate”

“I knew you were busy”

“I have enough for now”

Often than not, one would develop a tendency of discouraging another human’s effort to GIVE, in oblivion of the fact they’re struggling with RECEIVING.

Failure to receive kind gestures equals to PRIDE.

For close to 3 decades, I have struggled to receive but I would give without a thought. I would later learn to question my motive for giving to see if there were any expectations attached to it; it was affirmative.

Then the Teacher, Holy spirit would softly whisper, “that’s not giving madam, giving and expectations can’t be in one sentence”

You see how we love, relate, speak, inform, give, receive, appreciate, value…… is informed by our interactions with our environs from birth.

 And from my own I learnt to repay after receiving. And even giving more than I received to leave no debts or rather a reason to call me out. But for how long nyako? How long would I be the ambassador of such ignorance?

Jesus has taught me hard lessons that have flattened the pride curve of not receiving.

I have learnt that, it is not in my jurisdiction to dodge kind gestures- no ill motive driven, as a child of God. I don’t really need to repay but just to say “thank you” even if am so shaken that I can only mumble it.

There’s a kindness you can’t out give

There’s a kind of love you can’t out give

There’s a kind of a hug you can’t out give

There’s a kind of presence you can’t out give

There’s a kind of prayer you can’t out give

There’s a kind of sacrifice you can’t out give

There’s a kind of counsel you can’t out give

There are friends you can’t repay

There are types of persons you can’t repay

There are types of sisters/ brothers/mothers/fathers you can’t repay.

It is not for you to repay them, God is their debtor.

Those that have experienced longer drought seasons and have been beneficiaries of ravens spiritually, materially, Mentally and in every other way knows that; there’s nothing to repay for but give in gratitude.

And it got me thinking that, repaying sips life out of a relationship; any relationship. It makes it plastic with no attachment. It’s becomes a business transaction with obvious benefits.

Repaying is bondage. Repaying is pride.

Those who received Him, he gave them the right to become His children. John 1:12

I bet you and I know we can’t repay Him, but just be His children and enjoy the benefits that comes with it in freedom.

It’s ok to receive.

– Emily Omondi

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