“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ― Rumi
Stripped Off website and blog is a space birthed from revelations… and realizations that have come from my healing journey.
My Story
Hi there. My name is Emily and this is my story.
I was raised in a dysfunctional family. Or rather families since I grew up in different homes.
This exposed me to expressing and receiving love in the unhealthiest ways.
At the age of nine after my father’s death, my mother gave me to a different family from my paternal side to raise me. Six years later another family took over, this time, it wasn’t a relative.
During these years I went through molestation, child abuse, rejection, and neglect. And attempted rapes in my late teens.
At the age of 20 I thought I was mature enough for love or rather I needed a man around me. I needed a man to protect me.
I had adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). I felt ready to fall into the cupid’s arrows and sink into it.
I wanted to be loved.
I wanted to be wanted.
I wanted to be fathered.
I wanted to be owned.
I wanted a home.
I wanted someone to take my hand, look into my eyes and say “You belong to me henceforth Emily, you are mine.”
I wanted a RELATIONSHIP. In spite of the character of the person as long as few traits ticked my box. And their love melted my heart and made my feet all jelly. And I chose that man.
It didn’t last.
Few months into my cupid’s arrow, I discovered we were few women scrambling for his attention and he was spoilt for choice.
I stuck on hoping he chooses me. I was the youngest of them, I thought I had higher chances, he had what I needed most. Gentleness and again he held my hand just as a daddy would.
My father wounds stench accompanied me. I didn’t know I needed healing, was healing necessary at that time? When our pains are familiar, and we have somehow forged a relationship with the pains we adorn them. We become intertwined and hence healing is the least thing we can do because we’re creating better that we didn’t have growing up.
It got too hot. I opted out when one of us had a baby.
I opted out
Opting out, angry and resentful but still in love – another cupid captured me. Yes, another one.
I was 22 years old and now in church and wanting to do it all right. I was preaching Jesus in the slums and singing hymns in the best way my grandmother Nyamkok taught me.
I fell in love or so I thought. A clean-cut dude with height and gapped teeth, I was ready to say yes before he asked. And he was well built and tall to protect my lean self. He had a balanced voice depending on the environment, and so I melted. Two months into my heart’s captor, I became pregnant.
His family said no to my type of woman.
I devised ways in my head on how to make my first cupid the father of my child, because my baby just had to belong. Yes, I made grave mistakes in trying to fix my identity plus that of my child. Grave it was.
I got married to my first cupid. No, I took myself to be married with my first cupid. I told myself I still loved him more and my baby was covered. Father wounds chasing me swiftly and mother wounds crowning it all – me wanting to protect my child at all costs.
And that pregnancy was all tough, ugly and holy. I accepted and prayed for my son when I was seven months pregnant.
Emotional abuse set in from the third day into the marriage. We were still sharing his highness. I wanted a cover for me and a father for my son and a lover of my lean self. I stayed on.
Earlier when dating, I thought of shaving my hair to look all beautiful like Ajuma Nasenyana. It didn’t crack my cupid. He warned me never to shave my hair again because I looked so ugly. I had on hats for months just to impress his highness. His image before his boys was key. Emotional abuse played on.
“If there’s no breaking then there’s no healing, and if there’s no healing then there’s no learning.” – One Tree Hill
I had known Jesus earlier and I desired to live in truth.
And my truth deconstructed my life in the ugliest ways, shameful ways and beautiful ways
And it brought out more rejection from self and without
More abuse set in.
I kept quiet, my marriage identity was key. My son’s identity too.
No child no marriage
My qualification to stay married was another baby that would now belong to this man. The condition was no child no marriage. You use family planning no marriage. My son was months old when I spoke my truth.
We’d be chased in the morning and get called to stay back but give birth to another child. I pleaded to be allowed time to nurse my first child at least for two years, but the African man wanted their own. And whatever means used to conceive the child didn’t matter.
I was pregnant six months after the search began. I was sad. I hated myself. I rejected the pregnancy. But I wanted a home and a name for my son.
I stayed in denial because of the process of conception for seven months again. My boss made me accept my child.
Rejection.
More emotional abuse.
Financial abuse.
Eight years later - it all came down
I went through physical abuse in 2019, two instances. The third physical abuse was in the presence of my children in 2020, which made me end it all. I left the marriage with my two children then.
It’s been three years of bliss at the Lord’s bosom finding my rest and identity in Him.
I have taken lots of therapies for myself and my children.
I have enrolled in programs that enhance my healing. Also took up courses that affirmed God’s ordained purposes in my life.
Safe space for women
I have created a safe space for the women who got their children out of wedlock. And have gone through shame and ridicule in their communities and even family. Some of them have had to stay in abusive relationships for their children’s sake … yet the children are taking in the toxins day by day.
I have created a healing space for my children and developed a space for other children who are abused by proxy. Or have gone through separation and divorce.
I have created spaces for young women who’ve had to face crisis pregnancies … and some who’ve been forced to either get abortions or make wrong decisions due to societal shames and stigma.
Compassion for Christians going through separation and divorce
The journey of separation/divorce as a born-again Christian experiencing church hurt made me amass lots of compassion for self and others.
My love for these dejected persons warms my heart. It’s a share of God’s love and assurance that God does love without conditions and limitations.
I have developed a wholesome view of seeing women in abusive marriages. I help them see abuse, process and even walk out of it.
I open my arms for them that part of the church has branded stubborn and unholy because they had to leave their marriages due to abuse.
I have gone through therapy and healing programs to heal from father wounds. Hence I have a healthy relationship with God the father.
I listen more to the hurting and extend more grace that creates room for healing.
I hold space for them that have gone through molestation, sexual abuse and marital rapes.
Stripped Off?
Yes. Stripped Off as the website name suggests. This is inspired by a scripture from the Holy Bible. Hebrews 12:1(a) THEREFORE THEN, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) … – amplified version.
Let us choose a lighter journey, it’s ok to strip it all off.
Even the names we acquired along the journey.
The names that didn’t belong to us yet we owned.
The names that defined us, yet too far from who we are.
Let us choose new names.
Let us choose the redeemed.
Let us choose beloved.
Let us choose the chosen one
Let us walk in the full knowledge that we are the one he loves.
I’m stripped off - I hold space for you to heal and grow
I therefore present you a dedicated space where I create awareness on different aspects of our lives. I share joys, and give hope that transforms. And open doors to healing, then heal others for a better world for our generations.
My name is Emily Omondi. Am open to healing, I still want to heal and I want to heal others.
Do you want to heal from the pains and hurts of domestic abuse, and sexual abuse? And pregnancy traumas, divorce/separation, and church hurt?
Do you know a child that needs to heal from domestic abuse by proxy and separation/divorce?
Do you know someone that needs to heal all the above mentioned and some more?
Do you want to heal someone because you have experienced all these and more? Are you healed or healing already?
It’s one soul at a time. Let’s partner together and take a journey to wholeness by calling or sending a message on +254 762 384 819.
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” – Buddha